My Epiphany

For the entirety of my life I have been in pursuit for perfection, whether that was full marks on my spellings test or being the best at making a cup of tea (which, not being biased but I most certainly am. It's all about the technique.) At first this appeared to be ambition, a self drive for the best in life, little did I know that it would lead to my own destruction.

PERFECTION...does it really exist? I used to think so, and still struggle with this perpetual need to achieve sometimes but the difference is I have learnt. I now know the truth. Perfection doesn't exist, there is no perfect mark, no perfect weight, no perfect pathway in life; that allusive word is false and misleads our minds onto a path of disappointment as we never reach that finishing line and always strive for live.

So why does the word exist? Let's call it an idealism, a method to give people motivation to strive for the best rather than hover in contentment. Don't get me wrong, I am all for striving for the best, but why does life have to be a competition? Not only with each other, but with the world and ourselves? Why don't we instead, strive to achieve our personal best, and what makes us happy and healthy in life rather than what someone else says is 'perfect'? Each of us were created as an indivdual being of light, possibility and beauty, our individual quirks, talents and personality defining the unique and wonderful creatures we are! So instead of punishing yourself and focusing on what you lack or struggle with in life, let us join together and appreciate what we do have! 

How does this apply to me? Recently I have really been struggling with fear of the future, I have missed out on so many opportunites and enjoyment in life down to a horrible disease that I was unfortunate to succumb too, and for four years I have allowed that disease to define and overtake me and my life. As I struggled with mental anxiety, self criticism and a battle between a disease and the desire to lose weight, life lost all of its enjoyment to the point I lost all reason to strive for health. 

But NOT anymore! 

It took all those tears, all those missed opportunities all those self destructions for me to learn and understand that there is no perfect way to do anything in life, and that 'perfect' is doing what is best for you in order to be happy and healthy and living your dreams. Ofcourse it is challenging and I constantly compare myself to others, and fear that I am not things the 'correct' way, but then I remind myself I am doing what my body and soul desire and that is perfection in my eyes. Live your own perfect life not anyone elses. 

I am 18, and currently taking a sebatical from college until September, when I will finish my A levels and then go on to drama school which is what I want to pursue. Does it make me stupid? Does it make me a failure? NO! I am taking the time to find myself, regain weight and health and learn to control my anxiety and enjoy my life rather than using it as a self punishment. And do you know what? I have never been happier! Ofcourse it can be soul destroying feeling like a couch potato sat around stuck in the house all day, or that your lazing around not doing work 24 7, but I have my own work to do at the minute and that is finding myself. And today and the next day, that is my mission! I am going to return to college happy and healthy and strong, and perfection? Well perfection can go back to that illusionary cloud it fell off because I don't need impossibility in my life. I am all about possibility!

Negativity...who needs it?

Recently I have been struggling with a wave of negativity which has sent me into a state of misery and 'blues', as I battle with accepting myself and making decisions, losing faith in all that I know and believe. Why is this? Because I allowed other people's negativity and criticisms to bring a raincloud onto my day rather than radiating through and pentrating their darkness, continuing to enjoy my own light which has taken me so long to develop. I am not the kind of person to name names, or to return the negativity because where does that get us in life? Negativity will always be around us and it is about learning how to cope with and use it to your advantage rather than succumbing and allowing it to control your life.

Over the years, after constantly and still to an extent struggling with low self esteem and severe self criticism, I morphed from a glowing, smiley girl into a mechanical, miserable mannekin (my english teacher would be proud of my alliteration there, sorry english literature nerd aha ), losing all enjoyment from the pleasures and opportunities the world has to offer. However, I have developed a series of coping mechanisms I would like to share with fellow sufferers to bring that sunshine back to your day! It takes commitment and it is hard work, but it is definitely worth it! Ofcourse we are allowed to be miserable but why should we spend our lives that way? Let us see the best out of a bad situation! 

Coping mechanisms:

• start a positivity journal, filling it with things that make you smile or inspire you. This could be a family photo, a quote you like, a message from a friend, anything that you can turn too to remind you that life isn't as bad as it seems.
• physically write down your negative thoughts and evaluate them. This is for all the critical thinkers out there. List your negative thoughts on one side of the page, then next to them in a different colour (more visual and exciting like life itself) write a postive twise on that negativity e.g. NEGATIVE= someone said I have a big nose POSITIVE= I love my nose, it is unique to me and makes me beautiful.
• distract yourself! Take a bubble bath, phone a friend, watch a film, whatever helps you wind down, relax and think more logically because in a state of anxiety it is impossible to think properly. 
• laugh! as silly as it sounds just laugh. You will feel ridiculous which will make you realise how ridiculous the situation is and return to your normal self.

And most importantly...

Y.A.K

You, Always, Know

One of my dearest friends who has helped me so much in establishing the positive, stronger me that lives my life rather than fearing it, said this to me and at first I just laughed. It sounds ridiculous but it is my new mantra for life!

What does it mean? Have faith in yourself and want you feel is right, 'listen to your gut' as they say and don't ever change for anyone, do what you love, live the life you want to live and those who are your true supporters will love and encourage you along the way.

I hope this post was beneficial to you all and please create a google account so that you can comment with feedback on the blog, if not head to my 'get in touch' page and you will find my contact details there. 

Lots of love and smiles you to all and don't forget to keep smiling <3

Magic minty pea dressing

Being new to eating more raw food, my knowledge of raw food creations is pretty limited so I tend to make the same recipes as they are what I feel comfortable with. But not anymore! I've decided to be more rebellious and free spirited and stumbled across this wonderful dressing that goes great with anything but I particularly love with zucchini noodles.

 Ingredients

• 2.5 cups peas (mine were defrosted from frozen but you can cook if you prefer)
• 5-8 fresh mint leaves
• 1/2 red onion chopped
• 1 large hot chilli (alter according to how much spice you like)
• 1/2 lime juiced

This recipe is so quick and simple it is ridiculous! You simply place all the ingredients in a blender and whizz it up! I like to leave it slighty chunky but you can make it into more of a puree. 

Hints and tips

• to defrost the peas quickly simply place in a bowl with luke warm water for a few mins it works a charm.
• to prevent your eyes running when chopping the onion dab underneath your eyes with a damp cloth.
• DON'T touch anything sensitive i.e. your eyes after chopping the chilli it will burn!

 Et Voila!

One of my favourite ways to enjoy this dressing is over zucchini pasta! Simply julienne 4-6 large zucchinis and mix with 2 cups of plum tomatoes, mix in the dressing and your done!

Other ideas:

• make it a starter as a soup, adding chooped tomatoes and zucchini to create that rustic effect
• makes a great dip for vegetable crudites
• goes well in a giant salad with lots of lettuce and all of your favourite vegetables
• try it with a rawtill4 meal on top of jacket or steamed potatoes, or an alternative dressing for noodles, rice or pasta

Experiment, have fun and enjoy! Comment below on your thoughts of this recipe and tag me on instagram if you try it my name is @smiletohealth. Don't forget the 'get in touch' page, I'd love to recieve more emails from such a wonderful opportunity and I am always up for any post arrivals :)

 

Lush product review!

When I first transtitioned to a vegan lifestyle I only applied it to my diet and was unaware of how much of our daily lifestyle it actually involves. A particular aspect of this is cosmetics, and when I looked on the back of my foundation bottle the long list of chemicals was appaling! How can I be living naturally if I was putting all these chemicals on my skin? Not to mention the horrific ways in which they were tested!

So I began looking around for all natural vegan products and stumbled across 'LUSH', a place I had always loved for their creative and natural bath bombs but little did I realise they did makeup too! On enetering the store I had never met more friendly people who were so willing to help, and we actually began disccusing our passion for animal protection as everyone who works in store is vegetarian and vegan. It was heart warming to be surrounded by people with a pride in their products and the world around them.

Anyway... (I babble a lot sorry, I guess I like to write)

All products are free of harsh chemicals, sensitive on the skin and naturally fragranced to leave you feeling beautiful! I was so gratefull they were able to recommend products they have used themselves as well as what works best for my skin type. Plus, it was far more affordable than your usual makeup, I only spent £30 on the foundation, mascara, blusher and tooth tabs when I used to spend that much just on my foundation! 

So what do I think?

Foundation: I mix a bit of this with an all natural mosituriser I use every morning (I suffer from dried skin due to having severe eczema as a child) and it gives a light but even coverage that blends perfectly with my complexion and doesn't give that 'caked on' look. They had so many different shades so it will be easy to find the right one for you!

Mascara: Often mascara was the only thing I used to wear as I take pride in my eyes and like to exaggerate them, however typical mascaras left my eyes itchy for days or always used to clog up on the ends of my lashes. Not this one! I have honestly never used a mascara that doesn't give me that horrid discomfort! It gives a lovely all natural look but you would have to layer it on thick if you desire a bolder look.

Blusher: Don't you just hate that grainy effect? Well this blusher is a cream that you rub into your cheeks and get an adorable little rosy glow. However, be careful how much you apply you don't need much and on my first attempt I looked like a clown aha :) 

Toothy tabs: I have always been super paranoid about my teeth since having really goofy teeth and braces when I was younger, so this all vegan toothpaste is brilliant. It's so easy to use and I no longer have to use mouthwash! They have loads of different flavours but I played it safe with the minty one as didn't want to risk a cinnamon one first thing aha! All you do is bite one tab between your two front teeth then brush with a wet toothbrush, simple!

I'm not sure if you can purchase Lush products in all countries but it is definitely worth taking a look! And I will keep you updated on what other products I try, I am definitely tempted by the all natural shampoos and conditioners. 

What produtcs do you love? Comment below I would love to hear about them and maybe trial them myself x

Why I follow raw till 4

So, I have been on the vegan lifestyle for 6 months now and an 801010/ rawtill4 vegan for 2 months and never felt better! I never used to eat a lot of meat before I transitioned, mainly fish with the occasional bit of chicken but that was always because I felt I had to due to the misconceptions presented by the media on the importance of protein. Since transitioning to vegan I have never felt so energetic and happy from the inside with the added bonus of helping the environment and protecting all the wonderful animals within it! Call me a crazy hippie but this is what makes me feel good on the insdie and out and that's the most important thing in achieving happiness and health <3

There is a lot of stigma by raw food vegans about eating cooked food, however without easy access to cheap, organic fruit in abundance it is a fatastic option to make sure you keep carbed up! When embarking upon 801010 which I love as a lifestyle, I became afraid of cooked foods and lost a lot of enjoyment from food that I think is important in order to appreciate your body. I stopped socialising with friends, constantly punished myself for eating anything not 'raw' and also was seriously undereating so became very moody and miserable within myself. What kind of a lifestyle is that? Don't get me wrong, fruit is always the best option providing natural, instant energy direct from mother nature, however if like me you live in a cold climate, with difficult access to high quality fruit then cooked carbohdyrates are a salvation! I wish I had learnt this earlier as I feel so much better being carbed up. 

Fully raw is my ambition as obviously cooking food does denature it and reduce the quality but it all depends on how you cook it. If you roast it until its black and charred or fry it in heaps of oil then obviously it isn't a good choice, but steaming and grilling can be great options and roasted sweet potatoes are one of my favourites <3 I don't eat cooked every day as I do like my raw vegan meals like a bowl of zucchini pasta or my curry corn dressing on a big salad, so I simlply eat cooked when I am undercarbed or crave a heartier meal.

             My Inspiration <3

How did I discover rawtill4? Well I am sure you have heard of the famous pioneers 'freelee' and 'durianrider' and I cannot promote them enough! Their approach to veganism is so welcoming, easy to understanding and refreshing amongst such a restrictive, selective community that made me feel so distant and inferior. They promote doing what is best for you on this lifestyle whether that means eating cooked, eating raw, eating a bit of fat, its all about doing what is best for you! No constricition by a chain of rules you must regiment your life by. This is an idea I am strongly passionate about, and they really opened my eyes to how enjoyable life can be when you can escape restrcition and just live the life that you want to live and create your own journey of happiness. Don't trap yourself when life is so free with many opportunities for you indulge!

So what lifestyle do I follow? All I can say is vegan plant based diet. Do I treat myself....hell yeah! (chai lattes, vegan chocolate and curries are my guilty pleasure aha). Do I worry if something is cooked...NO! Do I worry if I occasionaly have a bit more fat...ofcourse not! As long as I am happy and healthy both inside and out that is all that matters, and although it has taken me a long time it is definitely worth my past of pain. 

I hope this post encourages you each to persue your own journey to happiness and health, and PLEASE comment below on your thoughts and opionions I want to know more about you wonderful souls, as well as your thoughts on the blog! There is also a 'get in touch' page if you want to email me or send me any products to trial and review and share with the vegan community. Lots of love and smiles <3

Low fat raw vegan lasagna

Lasagna has always been one of my favourite meals however it was always so high in fat and lacked benefit for your body even if it was vegetarian! Inspired by many raw foodies I have experimented and created this raw creation for all you raw vegans out there who want to keep fats low and flavours high!

Because I like to make things pretty <3

Ingredients

'Pasta' 

• 2 large zucchinis (courgettes) 

'Green layer'

• this can be whatever greens you have but i personally used spinach as it is my favourite

'Marinara'

• 6 large sun dried tomatoes
• 3 large fresh tomatoes
• 5-8 leaves of fresh basil
• 2 fresh chillies
• (optional) tbsp tomato paste

Ingredients for 'marinara' are blended.

'Cheese'

• 1 cauliflower
• 2 heaped tbsp nutritional yeast
• juice 1/2 lemon
• 2-3tsp cumin
• 2 spring onions

Ingredients for 'cheese' are pulsed in a food processor gradually adding water until desired creamy consistency is achieved.

Instructions

1. Firstly, thinly slice your zucchini ideally with a mandolin but I didn't have one so just used a knife and sliced as thinly as I could into 'pasta like' sheets, and create your first layer which acts as a base for the lasagna. 
2. Next add a layer of fresh greens (in my case spinach) on top of the zucchini
3. Then add your marinara sauce to create a delicious spicy kick in the middle that oozes out of the lasagna when you cut.
4. Add another layer of zucchini 
5. Top with your 'cheese' and sprinkle with spring onion and cumin seeds and place a few fresh basil leaves for decoration.

You can create more layers i.e. add another marinara with some added fresh tomatoes slice, or even another green layer just get creative and experiment <3

Voila! I ate the whole lasagna but sliced it in half and served with sliced tomatoes to look more presentable. It's that simple and oh so delicious! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Please comment below on your thoughts and tag me on instagram @smiletohealth if you decide to give it a go.

My Fully Raw Challenge

So lately on instagram there have been numerous raw challenges being orgainsed by many inspiring IG accounts so I thought that I would join the bandwagon. I have liked the idea of being fullyraw since reading Douglas Graham's 801010 book which really educated me on the importance of ensuring you fuel your body with as many natural, unprocessed nutrients as possible, and after many years of in some sense abusing my body I am now in persuit to do what is best! However, in the climate and area that I live in (it is very cold and there is not an abundance of cheap, organic fruit and veg), being fully raw is not achievable so I do have to resort to the back up plan of a high carb low fat vegan cooked meal. So, because a month challenge would be too long I did a personal 7 day fully raw challenge.

How did I prepare?

The most important thing I recommend with being fully raw is to ensure that you have an abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables available so that whenever you are hungry you can easily make nutritious meals without temptation for other foods. This was great fun for me as I love grocery shopping (healthy girl weirdo aha), but it wasn't fun for my bank account aha! I ended up spending nearly twice the amount I usually did on my weeks produce, so make sure if you choose this lifestyle you can get cheap produce or have a lot of money!

I also made my meals in the day simple and easy to prepare so that I could carry on with my daily activities without having to stress over preparing meals. Monomeals worked the best for me as these were both satisfying and better on my digestion (which isn't the best unfortunately), whilst allowing me to truly appreciate the taste of fruits and vegetables. I then allocated myself more time for evening meals  because I still wanted the enjoyment of food preparationa and creating raw recipes was a fun, exciting thing to do because it was completely new and intriguing to experiment with flavours.

Another good tip is to get inspiration! Google raw food recipes, follow your favourite raw foodies on instagram and ask questions! People who are passionate about their lifestyle are always willing to help, and might even have an ebook for you to purchase if you decide to fully transition! 

Detox

I never thought I would experience detox symptoms as I was only attempting this somewhat 'cleanse' for one week, however I was surprised to discover how quickly my body wanted to remove the toxins of my 18 years previous lifestyle. The first symptoms I received were the typical bloating and discomfort after eating such large quantites of water dense foods, but this did become more manageable a lot quicker than if you transitioned straight from a 'generic animal based lifestyle' as I had already been rawtill4 for quite a while so I had begun to adapt to fully raw foods. Nonetheless, the beloved 'Barry' the food baby always liked to show his face after meals. 

The next beautiful symptoms I received were the dreaded pimples!!! I hate spots! And this was particularly hard for me to deal with as I have always cared for my skin and rarely get spots, so to come out in a lot was devastating! I also have the awful habit of having to pop them which just makes them more red and noticeable! But I knew it was just my bodies way of releasing the toxins of my past and recovering itself so it was worth it! And there is nothing a bit of magic 'Sudocrem' cream cannot resolve!

Verdict

I definitely enjoyed being experimental with raw foods in the kitchen (although some recipe ideas were a major disaster) which increased my intuitiveness with food and formed a deeper connection with the produce I bought and consumed. Also, it bought me closer to a brand new community of inspiring individuals on instagram who offered a lot of advice and encouragement along the way which helped me remain motivated when I found things challenging. I became more aware of how much food my body actually needed to consume (I have discovered my appetite has no ending) and rather than feeling temporarily satisfied I genuinely enjoyed and appreciated the food I had.

BUT...

I live in wet, cold, gloomy England and sometimes a warming meal is just what your heart desires and provides a great comfort. Also, I missed out on opportunites to socialise with friends going to my favourite restaurants as it was not possible for me to eat fully raw and be satisfied. I felt too restricted at times and that wasn't good for me mentally as this was something I wanted to escape, and I don't want to verge onto the habit of labelling foods 'bad' or 'to avoid' again, life should be about being free and enjoying what the world has to offer! But the biggest factor was COST! Say no more.

Overall, I am definitely going to make a conscious effort to eat more raw foods which I have alrady begun to do my certifying my rawtill4 lifetsyle as this is what makes me feel at my best both physically and mentally. However, if I desire a cooked meal I will not penalise myself for it and just ensure that I keep it vegan and high carb (a bit of fat doesn't hurt either) because as long as it is  from mother earth and makes me feel good I do not see a problem.

Keep following your journies to happiness and health everyone and good luck to all persuing any of their own personal challenges! Please comment below I would love to hear your thoughts.

Happy New Year!

I can't believe another year has passed, and what a year 2013 has been! It has introduced me to a community of inspiring, radiant human beings, given me many beautiful memories, taught me so much about myself raising my awareness of my own physical and mental well being and how I am the controller of my future, taken me to new places, inspired new hobbies and interests and bought me closer to my family, friends and the world around me. However it has not all been laughs and smiles; there have been hurdles, crying, disappointments and difficult decisions but it is the challenges that life throws at us that makes us stronger, and I am feeling more confident and content not only to face whatever the world throws at me but also with accepting who I am.

The tradition is to make a new years resolution, but why focus on the negativity of the past when there are so many possibilities awaiting us. 2014 has so much to offer and I am ready to grasp every moment and make it a memory I cherish forever. We don't need to change, create a better version of ourselves or the perfect life, we just need to step back and appreciate what wonders are already in our lives and embrace our flaws and imperfections because that is what makes us who we are. 

Rather than create a list of changes why not create a list of ambitions? What would you like to achieve this year? Here are my top 8 ambitions for 2014:

1. To stretch for at least 10 mins every morning to awaken my body and mind and prepare me for the day.
2. Read more! I really need to get off youtube and instagram aha I am literally attached to anything electronic!
3. Make a conscious effort to be positive and wipe away any self criticism or negativity.
4. To continue my journey on a high carb low fat vegan lifestyle and experiment with being fully raw.
5. Spend more time with friends and family, surrounding myself with positive energy and enjoying the world around me. 
6. To pass my driving test.
7. Travel! I am now 18 so can freely explore the world without holding my parents hand.
8. Stop procrastinating and be more decisive.

I am so grateful for every moment that 2013 has brought, both good and bad, because they are what have allowed me to grow and progress into a happier, healthier human being. I will keep smiling and I will keep on walking into the sunshine and I hope you all will join me <3

Please coment below with your thoughts of this post and new years ambitions I would love to hear them!